Teach the Children

Born in 1960 I was the 6th child of 7 in a South Australian thriving Railway Town, life seemed normal and my inner peace carried me through the difficult domestic violence that plagued our home.

My Father was a train driver and in those days he worked away for a few weeks at a time and then home for a week. This life style no doubt fuelled the issues my parents were facing as indeed the heavy drinking culture that was a big problem amongst the men in the Town and probably within the Railway employees at that time.

My Father was a very handsome man well liked by men and women and working away he developed a lifestyle of heavy drinking and having affairs with women, as if this wasn’t bad enough he couldn’t really control his drinking while he was back at home either, he would spend the whole day at the pub, until closing time at 6pm. Mum was absolutely furious when the law changed the closing time to 10 pm as that gave him more drinking time. This became a huge problem as mum needed help with raising their 7 children seemingly on her own and many times he left her with no money and she had the humiliation of having to ask for credit at the local shops for long periods of time until Dad would have money to give her,  some times this was up to 3 months or more. This only added more stress to the relationship and as mum became more distressed he could not cope as he was now entrenched in a single lifestyle. His continual drunkenness was really out of control and he used to hit mum, throw the meal she had cooked all over the kitchen and very often throw her outside for the night and lock the door so she could not come back in.

Absolutely devastated with her life and with no one to turn to for help, she often contemplated ending her life..  she would try to sleep on the wood pile and then decide she would go down to the main street and sleep in the door way to a shop, at least it was shelter.. She would often take a can of kerosene with her .. yes.. to drink.. as her life seemed so unbearable.. but she would then think about her 7 children.. who would take care of her children if she ended her life??

Early hours of the morning she would wonder home and hope that if she kept her mouth shut, dad would have calmed down and sobered up and she would be able to get through the day with out having to endure the same thing all over again.

As a small child I was aware of the dreadful anger and violent atmosphere and I once saw my dad standing over mum while she was cooking the dinner he was pulling her hair and her head was moving back and forwards, he was vicious.. I remember feeling extremely upset and quickly ran to the lounge room so they didn’t see me..it was a horrible experience to see this. I know that my older siblings not only saw a lot more than this but also experienced dads physical abuse at times, but mostly it was directed at mum.

Three weeks before my 7th birthday my dad died in a Railway accident and it was horrible and a shock and left mum and us all very emotionally distressed for many years to come, some of my siblings have never recovered.

I have a wonderful husband and 4 beautiful children, 2 boys and 2 girls. I am a Christian and have taught our children to love and forgive, I have taught my daughters to never be controlled by anyone, especially not a man, as their partner, they are equals and a man and a woman compliment each other and love makes you free and happy and beautiful inside and out.

One of my sons had an inclination to be angry toward one of my daughters and it was something that I knew I had to deal with, both for him, (and his sister!!) and for his future wife.  He used to hit her often, so I would send him to his room. After a little time I would enter his room, I always made it clear I was not happy with this behaviour and neither was Jesus…  I explained that it was my role as his mother to discipline and train him to be a great man, not to allow him to be less of a man that would beat up his wife.. I explained that if I allowed him to hit his sister now as a boy, he would think nothing of hitting his wife in the future. I would discuss this in a manner that he really understood, I wanted him to know what was doing and I would not allow him out of the room until his attitude was right on this matter…

We have the power to stop domestic violence dead in its tracks by teaching this generation it is not acceptable and what is the tool that we have at our disposal??

It is the power of LOVE … ♥️

love is nurtured through beautiful relationship and acceptance…

this is what we must teach our children xxxx